Rules for Discussions

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Because this is a section where Playgirlz and Playboyz can get very enthusiastic sharing their opinions and views, we thought it'd be good to add a mod reminder about discussions:

Please remember, we're discussing not debating. A little debating here and there can be all right, but it can also be hurtful.

1) First and foremost, DO NOT discount each other's opinions. Instead, encourage discussion by asking questions! Ask each other to elaborate. Share reasons for why you say certain things.

2) Let everyone draw their own conclusions. Present your case, but don't impose your view on another person.

Posts that are inflammatory or that make pointed remarks that can be hurtful to certain groups of fans may be removed without notice.

If you need to contact us about persistently unhelpful behaviour on the forums, please email the admins at admin@asdaze.com. On the other hand, if there are stellar comments on the forums that could be the next Comment of the Week, do email us as well!

Remember, we are all After School fans here. There is no need to attack fellow fans who don't see things the same way you do Be safe, be friendly, and HAVE FUN

Why was my topic removed?
It had the title "Which After School member is going to graduate next". Which i don't see a problem with that to discuss with After School fans. We know they have this graduation concept and one member is going to leave the group in the coming future anyway. I thought opinions are open here?
I wasn't trying to make fun of it and if people really had a problem with that than they should learn to have humor and being sarcasm.  

Jayden wrote:Posts that are inflammatory or that make pointed remarks that can be hurtful to certain groups of fans may be removed without notice.

Remember, we are all After School fans here. There is no need to attack fellow fans who don't see things the same way you do Be safe, be friendly, and HAVE FUN

@Jayden, some people say things that are hurtful to certain groups of fans because they are unaware that it is hurtful or it is wrong to do so. Unless they are being straight forward offensive, I don't think it is a good idea to remove their comment without notice. Allowing the comment to remain in the discussion allows fans to discuss whether it is wrong or right to say/think like that so it provides everyone a chance to learn.

@ASDaze admins, if you think a comment maybe hurtful to certain groups of fans, I think it's better if you point it out in the discussion so we can all discuss about it. Please don't remove it or provided us with a mod reminder/warning. Neither of these actions is helpful because it leaves us confused or feeling mistreated. I understand why you don't want controversies in the other ASDaze sites and I agree but I was hoping for this forum we can openly discuss issues.

PrinceX wrote:Why was my topic removed?
It had the title "Which After School member is going to graduate next". Which i don't see a problem with that to discuss with After School fans. We know they have this graduation concept and one member is going to leave the group in the coming future anyway. I thought opinions are open here?
I wasn't trying to make fun of it and if people really had a problem with that than they should learn to have humor and being sarcasm.   

@PrinceX, I'm not sure why your topic was removed too. Maybe there's been some sort of mistake/misunderstanding. This forum has been a very open opinion forum so I'm confused  
I've seen some hurtful remark made to certain groups of fans and they haven't been removed yet e.g. there are hurtful remarks made to basement dwelling fans and Nana fans as well. Also there hasn't been any problems with talking about members graduating in the past as shown in the [ Poll ] [DISCUSSION] New Line Up 2014 ? topic. Maybe your topic was deleted because it is a duplicate topic of that other one, but I would expected that we would get notified and our posts moved to the topic. I don't remember what you wrote now, can you re-post it on this topic [ Poll ] [DISCUSSION] New Line Up 2014 ??

> Please remember, we're discussing not debating. A little debating here and there can be all right, but it can also be hurtful.

so if I want to debate, do I just label it [DEBATE] instead of [DISCUSSION]? just curious.

wowous wrote:> Please remember, we're discussing not debating. A little debating here and there can be all right, but it can also be hurtful.

so if I want to debate, do I just label it [DEBATE] instead of [DISCUSSION]? just curious.

I think it is nonsensical to say "we're discussing not debating. A little debating here and there can be all right, but it can also be hurtful."

Debate and discussion are synonymous terms but it's just that some debates in real life take place in formal settings and as far as I understand that's the only difference. I don't think it matters whether [DEBATE] or [DISCUSSION] is used but I think [DEBATE] has more negative connotations attached to it as it is often used synonymously in place of argue and so it is less seen as a term to be used for promoting the exchange of ideas. All 3 terms (i.e. discussion, debate and argument) can be used synonymously in a positive manner but unfortunately some people aren't aware that it is true of the latter 2 terms. The terms debate and argue implies the existence of objections/oppositions to an idea and hence where the negative connotations of these terms originate(also argue implies conflict too). Some people fail to recognise that objections/oppositions to ideas also happen in "discussions" as well.

It doesn't matter what term you use for "the exchange of ideas" any time a fan disagrees with an idea there's a chance there's going to be fans that are going to be butt hurt by those ideas. If we always say things to try to prevent fans from being butt hurt then this severely limits the exchange of ideas. For example, my posts regarding Raina's leadership qualities are actually very highly controversial(I think some ASDaze admins are unaware of this) and has in the past caused fans to be butt hurt(I'm pretty sure some members here are butt hurt by it too). I've had discussions/debates/arguments where fans have intensely argued to protect their image of Raina so I know how some fans feel regarding my posts. If I was going to back down from fighting for recognition of Raina's qualities just because of butt hurt fans then the fans that are open to my ideas who are willing to see the evidence I present are not going to know about it.

To butt hurt fans, please try exercising your ability of to rationalise and assess why you feel the way you feel. It's human nature to feel bad/disappointed when we are presented with information that conflicts with our knowledge and understanding(especially knowledge/understanding that we hold dear). When we are presented with information that conflicts with our knowledge/understanding, the feelings of being wrong/disappointed and other negative feelings can be very hard to avoid. All I can suggest you do it discuss with other fans about it and try to look for the positives of the outcome if they disagree with you and if you can't find any, I encourage you to ask about it in these discussions and if you feel shy about it just post the question on ASDaze's ask.com anonymously and if I see it I'll started up a discussion about it in this Discussion forum. It might be better to explicitly request  on ASDaze's ask.com for a discussion about it in case I miss it.